nightmare.

My friend and I were driving in a 4-wheeler down a small, wooden pier. He starts going faster, and faster, until we reach the end of the pier. He slams on the brake, and I fly into the murky water, screaming and flailling. A fish, the size of a school bus, swims at me as fast as it could. I'm crying now. I think about drowning myself. I don't want to feel getting swallowed whole. But it's too late, it's like a giant eel, and it bites me at my midsection. It tears into my waist with vicious teeth, and swings me back and forth. I'm surrounded in bloody water, and I'm losing conciousness fast. I stopped beating the fish with my fists, I knew it wasn't helping anymore. Suddenly, the fish swims away. I won't survive, I know it. I look around for help from my friend, but somehow I'm in the middle of the ocean. There is no land or pier in sight for miles. I have been left to die here, covered in blood, my legs completely immobilized by the attack. As I drift upon the waves, I cry. Then I wake up.
I've had this dream almost 5 times now. It's making my aquaphobia even worse.
I'm able to go on a boat, though. I still have minor panic attacks when the boat rocks too much, or when we bounce over waves. My mother and sister went tubing yesterday; there's no way in hell I would ever do that. I'm better in the shower now, too. I'm getting more comfortable with washing my hair. But it's still a little scary.

I'm not here. I don't exist.
What is color? A visual deception. Our eyes are fake. We see only what we want to see. Nothing is fact. Up is down, blue is 13. Crazy talk? Or am I making sense?
No one really exists. It's all in our minds. What minds? There is no such down...
There is no God, no earth, no you, no me. No senses, so superstitions.
I'm not here. I don't exist.